To combat some of the feelings I've experienced as a result of the jolt and shock of being away from friends, family, and familiarity, I realized that throughout all the changes, I truly forgot how to take care of myself. Although I've dealt with some major stressors over the past 3 years (and much farther back as well) and got through them successfully, it hasn't made it any less difficult to remember to take care of myself.
For me, this realization that I forgot how to love myself came about only recently, after I moved away from a majority of the stressors and triggers that were distracting me from the self-care I needed so badly. Although if I could do the move all over again I would do it entirely different, I still feel there was good that came from it - it's given me the space and time to realize some very basic things about life. Growing up has a way of doing that.
Do you ever have days where you feel fat or ugly or pathetic? Lethargic; too tired to get up? Do you have days where you can barely get out of bed? Have you ever had thoughts cross your mind like "What's the point of getting up" or "Who cares if I go to work today?" When you struggle with depression and self-esteem issues such as these, self-care is such a pivotal piece of the puzzle to reconnecting with who you really are and what you truly want out of life. When you start to take care of yourself again, people suddenly become attracted to you - and I don't just mean physically - I mean spiritually, emotionally, mentally. Others can sense the pride within you and they start to look up to you. You begin to, knowingly or unknowingly, attract people like you. You attract others who also love themselves, and suddenly you begin to wake up happier and look forward to life.
Below are just some of the strategies of self-care that I've learned (and forgotten...and re-learned) over the years. As part of a resolution to myself, these are steps I am taking each day to reunite with who I want to be.
1) Create a daily schedule for yourself
Creating a schedule for myself is one of the only ways that I can get through my day without feeling completely scatterbrained. I also do this at work, whenever I am feeling overwhelmed or disorganized. For most people living in modern society, we are bombarded with information all day - deadlines at work, multiple projects, children's needs, our personal goals, preconceived notions of how we should be living, and the despair of never being able to achieve it all. One goal you can set for yourself that you can always achieve is to make a schedule for yourself. Mine looks like this:
5:30 - 5:45: Shower & Complete Morning Routine (listed below)
5:50 - 6:30: Makeup & Hair / Get Dressed
6:30 - 6:40: Commute to work (I'm lucky to have a short commute)
7:00 - 4:30: Work
4:30 - 4:50: Matt pick's me up, we commute home
5:00 - 6:00: Exercise - Go to the gym, attend a group exercise class, or take the dog for a walk
6:30 - 7:00: Have a post-workout snack, drive home
7:00 - 10:00: FREE TIME. I use this time to prepare dinner, pack lunches for the next day, and do something I love.
7:30 - 8:00: LAST CALL for snacks and/or drinks other than water or herbal teas (stop eating three hours before sleeping to promote better sleep and fat burning. Try this for a week and you'll feel a difference)
10:00 - 10:30: Bedtime Routine (listed below)
10:30 - 11:00: Fall asleep
11:00 - 5:30: Sleep (ideally this would be 7 hours, but sometimes I am sleepier than other nights so it all depends on the day I've had. On weekends I catch up on sleep and sleep 9-10 hours Friday and Saturday nights.)
2) Create a consistent morning routine (that you can stick to)
- Skin brushing
- Shower & Hydrotherapy
- Brush & Floss
- Skincare Routine
- Light stretching/yoga
- Cup of tea or coffee
- Skin brushing
- Castor oil packs
- Brush & Floss
- Skincare Routine
- Cup of warm tea or glass of water
- Read inspirational books, listen to relaxing music, podcasts, or meditate
4) Make a list of things you love to do.
Some things that I love to do in my spare time include writing (blogging mainly), talking to my friends from back home via Skype, chat, or on the phone, being crafty, listening to my favorite music, watching my favorite YouTube vlogs, checking out other blogs for inspiration, shopping, putting on makeup, trying a new hair product or making goals, taking naps, or any other things that make me happy.
5) Take pride in sensory material comforts
As adults, we seldom remember the sensory, material comforts we experienced as children. When we are kids, we are totally uncensored, until we "learn" through experiences that we should or shouldn't feel certain things - or we should or shouldn't be excited about certain things (like Santa being real, for example.) When I say sensory things, what I mean is wrapping yourself in a beautiful, warm, fluffy blanket or throw and making a delicious homemade hot chocolate. Do things that feel good physically.
6) Do something you love every day
Do you love making jewelry? Reading books? Writing poetry? Listening to oldies? Listening to 80's? Cuddling up in a blanket and watching your favorite shows? Do something you love every day.
7) Get enough sleep - or as much as you can
Getting 7-8 hours of sleep as opposed to 5 or 6 has a profound effect on your health as well as your entire next day - your ability to concentrate, your hunger level, and obviously, your energy levels. In my experience, exercising helps you sleep deeper and more soundly than not exercising - another amazing and beneficial reason to include exercise in your daily life.
8) Make exercise a non-negotiable task
Like eating, drinking, or feeding your pets - you wouldn't neglect those things, would you? Of course not - because your body needs food to stay alive! Your body also needs exercise to stay alive. Treat it like any other daily task and reward your body with the gift of exercise.
9) Learn to say no (and say yes to yourself)
This is probably one of the hardest but most necessary things you can do for yourself (and for others.) If you find it extraordinarily difficult to say no to others, you may have low self-esteem or be experiencing some type of codependence (feeling the need to take care of others before yourself). If you think you may have issues with codependence beyond your control, seek the help of a qualified therapist. Never be afraid to ask for help!
10) Be kind to yourself and most of all, give yourself a break when you fall off the wagon.
It's not about all or nothing - you can achieve 60%, but don't get hung up on the 40% you didn't manage. Life gets in the way. Learning to love and care for yourself only makes life that much more manageable.
I hope you find these life tips useful throughout your own days, weeks, and years to come. I am slowly coming back to a routine that will enable me to live and feel better each day.
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