Get to Know Me - Upbringing & Struggles With Weight

  

Hi Everyone!

If you've been following my blog for the last year or so, you already know that for some time now, I've been working to lose the extra weight I put on around 2 years ago due to stress. If you haven't been following my story, I'll give you a brief back story/history of my weight ups and downs throughout the years.

Here I am in the late 80's (right) about a year after I was born. My Mom had me later in her life - she was 40 when I was born! I guess you could say I was sort of a surprise. A cute surprise.

When I was about 4 years old, my parents were divorced. My Dad moved out shortly after the divorce.

Here I am with my cousins, around 8 years old. 

When I was 8 years old, I broke my right leg (femur - the biggest bone in your body) and was in a body cast for what felt like several months. I even had to learn to walk all over again! The stress of the accident definitely took a toll on my weight. I was a chubby, awkward kid. I was always called fat and picked on by other kids throughout grade school.

How cute is my cousin without her glasses!? She is all grown up now, and absolutely gorgeous!

In 4th grade, I began playing softball. Even though the girls on the team were horrible to me, playing softball and being active slowly helped me build my confidence. I reached a healthy weight by age 10 or 11, but shortly after I stopped playing altogether due to excessive bullying.

Fast forward about 5 years, here I am with my sisters and brother around age 14 (right). From age 8 - 15 or so, I struggled with my weight; it went up, then down, then back up. Various stressors at home and school were the main reasons for the constant fluctuations.

By age 14, I asked my Mom if I could accompany
her to a Weight Watchers meeting. 

Weight Watchers actually worked for me! It taught me the basics of tracking calories (points), and was a generally positive and encouraging environment to be in during the weekly meetings.

Around 1 year later, at 15 years old, I had lost about 30+ pounds through Weight Watchers. This picture (left) is me at my lowest recorded weight. I weighed 135 pounds. 

I had a rough upbringing, but managed to maintain a healthy weight for about a year, from age 15 to 16.

When I was a teenager, I unfortunately found myself in an abusive relationship that lasted throughout high school. My self esteem plummeted. Although people told me I was pretty, being with someone who physically and emotionally abused and manipulated me made it impossible to develop a strong sense of self. Once my relationship with this person became long term, I found myself turning to food more and more as an escape and a coping mechanism for the abuse.

Between 2001 (pictured above) and 2004 (right), I gained a total of 70 pounds. By my high school graduation, my weight reached its highest.

Although I accomplished a lot throughout high school, including working full time as a supervisor for a pizza parlor while attending full time running start courses at the local community college, I was probably at one of my lowest points when this picture was taken.

The relationship I was in had taken a turn for the worst; it was a miracle I survived high school without dropping out or turning to drugs to get by. The relationship continued off and on, while I struggled to try and get my life together. Most of my family and the few friends I had didn't know my boyfriend was physically abusive.


I remember weighing 204 pounds on graduation day.

In August 2004, not long after a lot of other changes took place, I landed a job at a Starbucks drive-thru not far from my soon-to-be new apartment. A few months after being hired, the night shift needed a supervisor - so I was promoted to manage the night shift.

It was at Starbucks that my future really started to look brighter. I met a really great group of people, some of whom are still my friends to this day. For the first time in my life, I was building a strong support system of good friends and learning how to have fun.

My 21st birthday was the last birthday I celebrated with my abusive ex-boyfriend. Around February of that year, I dumped him. It was to the credit of my Starbucks group of friends, who essentially took me out and gave me an intervention, urging me to leave this toxic relationship. I am forever indebted to them for that.


I quickly grew tired of retail management, and knew I was destined for something greater. I craved stability and independence, so I applied for a position at Starbucks headquarters - and I was hired!

I worked for the company for about a year, from 2007 to 2008. Because I was in a stable and supportive environment, I began losing weight slowly.

In June 2008, I was a happy, moderately healthy 165 pounds. I learned how to be fashionable, started to believe that I might actually be pretty, and really developed a true sense of self and of what I wanted out of life. I made more friends at my new job, and attended a friend's baby shower (right). I had a new love interest, and things felt like they were headed in the right direction.

Fast forward to 2008 - I moved in with my boyfriend at the time, and dropped another 15 pounds when I found out that I may be gluten and dairy intolerant. I continued to track calories, but didn't do anything special to lose the weight.

In the bathroom of my condo taking selfies

With an old friend, 2007-2008

In 2009, I suffered a major loss. I lost my job (not at Starbucks) unexpectedly. My relationship was starting to fall apart as well. I relocated to another city to be with my boyfriend at the time, but it wasn't long after I went into a very deep depression.

I continued to work on myself throughout the year, while I worked jobs off and on. In May 2010, I decided to leave my relationship and move back to my Mom's house. The transition took a huge emotional toll on me. I felt completely lost, was unemployed, had next to no money, and despised living at home, where I didn't get along very well with my Mom.

It was, however, during that extremely trying time that I reached my second lowest weight. Being single again, I started to spend more time working out - running was my fave - and throughout all those years, I continued to track calories.

 
2010 - 140 - 145 pounds

I was single, not working, and once again - I didn't know what to do with myself. This was in the middle of the economic downturn, and jobs were even more difficult to come by. I found myself contracting off and on, but I never really enjoyed my line of work. It was then that my Mom and I had a falling out, and I moved out without hesitation. I quickly found a roommate, who also happened to be an old friend from my first job at Starbucks.

Not long after moving in, my roommate must have noticed how down I was, and offered to set me up on a blind date. I wasn't ready to get into a relationship just yet, as I felt I really had nothing to offer at the time... I wasn't working and didn't have any specific goals for the future. I wondered how anyone could find me fun or attractive when I felt so depressed.

How wrong I was!!! Unbeknownst to me, I met my husband on August 21st, 2010, at a coffee shop in a Seattle neighborhood. Our first date lasted several hours, as we quickly connected over similar goals as well as struggles. We each shared stories about our struggles with weight (his weight fluctuated throughout his life, too) and how both of us had lost over 70 pounds. We started seeing each other, and it was only a few short months later that we were inseparable. I was in love, and I knew I'd met The One.

 
 Matt and I spent all of our time together. Probably too much time together - but what do you expect!? We had met our match - and we both knew it. 


Matt treated me with the utmost respect and kindness. He is patient, kind, funny, hard working, and generous. He is affectionate and loving. He knows me better than anyone, and I am so lucky to have met him.

Over the next few years, Matt and I began once again struggling with our weight. I was trying to juggle the stress of working odd jobs and not having a steady income, while he juggled the stress of working for a busy law firm full time and being in a brand new relationship. Both of us found our comfort in food.

I began working full time again in 2011,and  my job became increasingly demanding and stressful. I started to struggle financially. My car broke down, and I was working two jobs with no way to get around. I let the stress of my situation contribute to my weight gain. 

In November 2011, Matt and I got engaged! I was absolutely head over heels in love with him - I couldn't believe this person, this amazing person, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Matt showed me I was beautiful in a way no one ever had. 

 
Pictures from our engagement/Christmas photo shoot, December '11


The stress of my job and planning a wedding really got to me for the next 8 months. It was also during this time that I had a falling out with two old friends. Throughout the experience of planning and the actual wedding, I came to realize who my true friends were. 

Sadly, however, my weight skyrocketed to an all time high of 220 pounds. Unlike most brides, I didn't feel anywhere near beautiful on my wedding day. In hindsight, I did look beautiful, but I think it shows in my pictures that I didn't truly feel that way. I realized shortly after our wedding that I had an exceptionally difficult time handling adverse and stressful situations, and that it has always adversely affected my weight and my happiness. I knew I had to change that.

My bridesmaids and I (and my highest weight)

 

From the proposal to the wedding, I gained a total of 40 additional pounds. I am in no way writing this blog to shame myself, or to cast guilt upon myself of any sort. I don't think that gaining or losing weight is inherently wrong or bad. Weight gain is just the external circumstance of a person not caring for themselves in the ways they should.

I am happy to report that I have lost a total of 37 pounds since my wedding day. It's been almost one year since the day I married my best friend, and it really is a time of reflection for me. So much has changed since then - I've changed jobs, moved to a brand new city, and have looked deep within myself to find the reasons behind my continued struggle with weight.

Here are some recent pictures of me:

From left to right: 220 pounds, 195 pounds, 185 pounds

Taken June, 2013

 

At my friend's wedding, June 2013, -30+ pounds

As you can see from reading my story, I've let stress get to me in the worst way. I've used stress as a way to neglect myself, ignore myself, shut myself out - I am just now learning to have a voice! I've encountered several stressful situations and haven't had the easiest life, but even through all that, I kept finding a way. I kept finding a light and I kept following it. I've learned - especially in the past year - that I am the only one who has let the stress of life keep knocking me down - and I'm the only one who can get back up and do something about it.

I always hear people say that if only they could lose a certain amount of weight, their life would be "so much better". If they just had enough money to hire a personal trainer. If they could afford a gym. If they could buy organic produce every week. That's really not what it's about, though, is it? 

Living a fulfilling life comes down to one simple thing: Take care of yourself. One of my favorite bloggers always says "When you take care of your body, it will glow." Take care of yourself for heaven's sake! You (and I, and anyone else) can make a million excuses about why life is the way it is - it's stressful because I have kids, it's stressful because I have family problems, it's stressful because of my marriage, it's stressful because I can't make decisions about the future, it's stressful because I don't have money, etc...

You can also turn those stressors into excuses - or you can turn them into motivation for change. I've heard (and said) things like: Tracking calories is too tedious. I'm too tired to exercise.  My job is draining, therefore I am going to watch TV all night and 'do whatever I want'. I might get injured if I work out. I don't want to lose weight for other people (I used that one for years). 

What it really comes down to is this - are you first in your own life? Do you come before other people? Are your needs met every day? Do you feel fulfilled in your relationship and in your job? If not, why don't you? If not, can you change it? If you can't change it (right away), can you change your attitude about it? If you're not asking to be first in your own life, then who exactly is first in your life?

Weight loss is not life, and life is not weight loss. Life is real struggle. Life is annoying. Life is things getting in the way of your goals. Life is traffic jams and nine-to-five's and all day meetings. Life is screaming children and annoying coworkers. Life is sadness and depression and addiction and divorce. Life is loss. But life is also so much more than what most people make of it. 

In the end, life is never about weight. It's about what you do with yourself, how you care for yourself, and your attitude, while you are given this short amount of time on this planet. There's no reason to feel sad or sorry for yourself. Adversity can always be overcome.

Put Yourself First!

Hi everyone!!

I haven't written in so long, I practically forgot I had a blog. I can't believe it's already JUNE 2013!!! The older you get the more time just flies by... We get into a daily routine where it becomes the norm to be preoccupied with work, jobs, errands, paying bills, kids, schooling, or problems (our own and others'.)

Lately I've been feeling a bit overloaded with the new job. I'm enjoying the job itself and my coworkers are great. I'm used to transitioning jobs and frequently moving, but now that I've settled into my new home with my husband, I am actually less adaptable to change than I used to be. Once you get used to running on stress and adrenaline, it's normal to always be prepared for the next stressful event. But when it's the opposite, and life is pretty calm and normal, that stress induced activity is no longer appealing. In fact, it feels good to be living a "normal" life.

Here are some things I've been telling myself as of late, that might help you too.

1) It's okay to be boring

All my adult life I have been striving for just that. Boring. I'm not a spontaneous person. Even a night out with friends requires meticulous planning on my end. How much will it cost? How much should I set aside for gas? Am I up for it? I have a lot of other things going on - will I be too distracted to have fun? My mind is like a circle of questions and what-ifs that never stops. Call me uptight, because its probably an accurate description! Although I do love seeing my friends and I always have a good time, I'm just a pretty boring person (on the surface). I don't like drinking (but I don't care if you do!), I don't care for lavish parties or loud places. My favorite place to be is at home with my husband, dog, and cat, reading, writing, or watching YouTube. I guess I'm just a homebody - and that's okay. I've accepted that I don't need a lot of stimulation to feel happy and that being boring is okay!

2) It's okay to say no - even when you "shouldn't"

When I started my new job, it really consumed my time and energy. I fell off the face of the earth and completely forgot about Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. I forgot because my energy was entirely consumed with staying focused at work and getting enough sleep, having enough mental energy for each day. Being dedicated to a big life change requires the ability to say no to others, even when it comes to important events like weddings, birthday parties, pre-planned get togethers, or any extracurricular activity. Obviously there are situations we can't say no to - taking care of the kids, caring for ourselves, etc. The point I am making is that during a stressful life change, you don't owe anyone anything. It's 1,000,000 percent okay to say no, to cancel, and to make yourself unavailable for as long as you need to get yourself through a life transition as smoothly as possible.

3) It's okay to put yourself first

Tying into my last topic of saying no, there really are no rules (except for the law, obviously) and the rules you set for yourself. Are you confined by the rules of your parents if you no longer live with them? Will so and so get mad if you don't attend their event? Are you unable to make it to a graduation or other important event because you simply don't have the money? It's okay - and healthy - to put your needs before others.  Think about it - what's the worst that could happen? I'm not advocating for being a flake, but I'm reiterating that others put their needs first - why shouldn't you? (You can usually spot those who don't put their needs first, though, because they will make you feel guilty or try to manipulate you into doing what they want. Don't fall for that! Hold your own and remember that your life isn't about meeting their needs.)

4) Its okay to not be productive

I tend to get stressed when my house is a mess. Something about the clutter gives me a little OCD. Okay, a lot of OCD. But I've had to learn to live with the mess and be okay with it. It's important to have a clean and organized living space, but its also good to practice being one with your environment, despite whether you can relax in it or not. Will everything fall to pieces if the dishes aren't done? Will the world end if the laundry gets done on Monday instead of Sunday? Just some things to put into perspective. Life is a lot easier when you stop assuming that everything around you is based on a set of rules. Who says you have to do anything productive? If sitting with yourself makes you uncomfortable, what is it you're avoiding by always being busy? Give yourself a break and let it be okay. 

5) Get in the driver's seat 

What good do your anxieties serve you? Except creating rapid heartbeat, cortisol levels skyrocketing, hormone imbalance, moodiness, depression, fighting with family... the list goes on. It's easy to say "just stop stressing" but this isn't the goal - and frankly that comment is insensitive. (I should know, I've been told that many times - and I've even told other people that!) Here is a good practice when you feel particularly stressed or anxious about a situation.

Imagine a situation that gives you the MOST anxiety. What is it? Is it confronting a family member? Is it saying no to your boss? Is it standing up to a loved one? Most anxious situations involve some level of conflict. Even saying no when you normally say yes can create that anxiety. 

So you've got that picture in your mind of this anxious situation. How does it feel? Where in your body do you feel the anxiety the most? What thoughts are creeping into your mind? Take note of what things you are repeating to yourself. Have you suddenly become critical of yourself - possibly becoming negative about the situation and assuming the worst before its even happened? Are you ready to throw up your hands at the whole thing and just "give in" to the other person?

The most anxiety inducing situation for me (one of them) is expressing my disdain or anger in a healthy way. A typical situation involves waiting an extra 20 minutes for an appointment that was supposed to have already begun. Typically, I'd bite my tongue and say "it's no big deal" and suppress that anger, later becoming resentful due to all the build up of repressed anger. (Guess what resentment turns into? Boiling over with anger and misdirected criticism or anger at yourself or others.)

In order to express my disdain healthily, I should politely tell the person "Did you know it's 20 past the start of our appointment time? I like to start on time whenever possible since I have a pretty tight schedule." At this point I assume the person I'm speaking to will become defensive, abrasive, or try to 'get back at me' for being honest and straightforward.

Regardless of the outcome and their response, I've expressed my discontent and therefore said my piece. I already feel better and lighter for doing that. I put my fears and anxieties in the passenger's seat, and I put my rational self - and my anger - in the driver's seat.

This practice can be used in any situation. It requires patience and maturity, and the ability to open yourself up to some uncomfortable situations. Expressing anger in a healthy way doesn't mean calling up everyone whose ever wronged you and "telling them off". In fact, when anger is expressed at the time it's felt, there is no need to boil over and "let it all out" when the final straw breaks the camels back.

These are tips I've learned throughout the years, especially in the past year, that have really helped me along the way. You won't always have the opportunity to express your anger, but doing so more often - putting your emotional, anxious side in the passenger's seat - will help you become a more sane, less anxious person. 

Hopefully these tips will help you feel better and more relaxed about your personal decisions. It's okay to be you, and to put yourself and your needs first.

How to be Professional & Expand Your Success

Whether you're a white-collar professional, a stay at home Mom, or on the front line working with clients, the need for professionalism is always present.

You might be wondering, "What does she know about professionalism?" With a background in Human Resources and over 10 years in Customer Service, I know a thing or two about presenting myself professionally in the workplace. But why does it matter if you don't work in an office? You'll see!

My inner rebel fought against this idea for years. I paid the price for it, believe me! I left jobs if I didn't like the environment or my bosses. I acted with emotion and without rationality. I blurted my opinions in meetings and they weren't always taken lightly. I slouched and pouted when my ideas weren't taken into consideration. 

Thankfully, I've made these mistakes, so if you keep reading, you won't have to live through them yourself! 

For those in the beauty, cosmetology, or makeup industry, these tips will especially help you. If you're a struggling college grad, this will definitely apply to you. If you're trying to get a promotion in a business environment, keep reading.

Professionalism Basics

• Attendance, Punctuality, & Performance
• What is an acceptable amount of absenteeism?
  Whether you're a freelance writer, a makeup artist, or just starting your career in a corporate setting, I cannot stress how highly employers and clients regard your attendance, punctuality, and quick response. On time is 5-15 minutes early, and an acceptable level of absenteeism (unless your company has a points system attendance policy or it's specifically defined in their employee handbook) is approximately one day per month with or without notice for personal or sick days. (This doesn't apply to paid vacation, which is not part of absenteeism.)
• Your boss is "laid back"
  Never trust a laid back boss! No, actually, that's not true. In my experience, I've been lucky to come across bosses who are very laid back in general, and they don't really have an interest in micro-managing. I've also come across a few micro-managers in my day, and I've found that laid back or not, most bosses just want to feel respected. If you think you're taking advantage of their so-called "kindness" (I call it passive managing) you probably are. If your boss is laid back, make sure to consistently ask for feedback. "Am I doing this correctly?" "How do you prefer I submit out of office requests?" "What works best for x, y, or z?" No matter where you work, this will be appreciated. 
• You don't have a boss, so you can do whatever you want - right?
  If you don't have a boss, ask your clients to fill out an anonymous online survey about their experiences with you! This is an incredible opportunity to see where you may need improvement, but also to hone in on your skill set and work on your personal brand. Are you an expert artist, but you don't have great people skills? Or maybe you are new to your field, and your people skills are great, but you need more training. Either way, this is an opportunity to learn. What can you do better? Can you do more? What do your clients want from you that you may not be offering? (You can create online surveys through SurveyMonkey.com.)
• Out of Office Replies
  If you have a website with a dedicated e-mail address for media, press, or sales inquiries, it is vitally important to set an out of office       auto-reply if you plan to be out of town or unable to respond to business inquiries for more than three consecutive days. My recommendation is to indicate a specific "service level agreement" on your website, indicating "All e-mail inquiries will receive a reply within 24 hours". Your clients or customers will appreciate knowing when they can receive a reply.
  
  This is also a great segue to the next topic!
• Integrity & Consistency
• Integrity - Do what you'd say you'd do
  If you went to get a haircut and your hairstylist called in sick that day but forgot to forward your appointment to one of her coworkers, would you expect her to be reliable in the future? The same goes for any services that you may offer, or if you work in an office environment. Don't miss a deadline at work just because you don't want to burden someone else with the responsibility - if you're sick, your employer or your clients still want the respect of acknowledging that their project or service will either be passed on to a coworker in your absence, or rescheduled to another day. Even when you need to be out for personal reasons, call your coworkers or clients and let them know someone else will take care of them.
• Consistency - Offer consistent products, performance, and services
  While we're on the topic of hairstylists - have you ever found a great stylist, only to go back for a follow up appointment and find that your haircut is nowhere near as good as the first one was? Just because you've built clientele or you have a good reputation at the office doesn't give you a hall pass to slack! Too many clients and potential promotions are lost because of laziness. Treat every project or client as if you were doing it for the first time. You'd want to impress them, right? What better way to do that than to impress them every time?
• Customer Service 
• People Skills
  Good customer service is at least 90% people skills. If you lack the basic enjoyment of working with others, or you're unsure of what people want, chances are your customer service skills need some work! Not necessarily because you're bad at it - but most clients can sense when a person just generally doesn't enjoy working with others. Keep in mind that you don't have to be an extrovert to enjoy working with others. Although I consider myself introverted (I get more energy from being alone than from being with people) I truly enjoy the satisfaction and payoff of working with clients and customers. People can sense your willingness to help them and they appreciate your effort.
• Follow Up
  Follow up with your clients, customers, business partners or cross-functional teams to ensure you are doing your job properly, and look for ways to improve processes that are lengthy or just plain not       working. Especially in a business environment, people tend to get caught up in "the way things are" without considering the possibility of challenging the status quo. If you see something that could be improved, take a risk and make a suggestion. If you're shot down, people will at least respect your willingness to share ideas. (Oh, and if you work in an environment where your ideas are never acknowledged, consider a new job.)
• If you work on your own, you can change things up whenever you want! Just make sure to consider your clients' and customers' feedback before making big changes - for example, if you want to update your website, make sure your new format is user-friendly and easy to navigate. I know that if I visit a website and I can't find the information I need quickly and easily, I will move on and find someone else.

Overall, this is meant to be a helpful guide to understand the foundation of professionalism. What it really comes down to is consistency, reliability, friendliness and warmth, and the ability to admit fault and keep an open mind. With these traits, you can excel in any business venture.

I hope you find this helpful! Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

How to be Classy (and Does It Matter?)

Yes, it matters! 

The term “classy” gets a bad rap. Class, in this sense, does not refer to your socioeconomic status in the world. We often think of “classy” as another word for “stuck up” “self-preserving” “rich” “well bred”, so on and so forth. You might even think of classy as fancy silverware or the full set of matching china your Grandma was so attached to. Maybe you think of royalty. But even those with power and wealth (including royalty – think Prince Harry) have, at times, acted without class!

Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrill) in "Anchorman"

I’ve been thinking about this for some time, now – living with more class. I think class comes with maturity – and we’d like to think maturity comes with age, but this is not necessarily true. Maturity comes through extensive self-work and maintenance. It comes with a thorough inventory of what is important to us and how to live out our values while maintaining an open mind and a positive attitude.

Disclaimer: This post isn’t meant to demean those who haven't reached 100% Audrey Hepburn or Oprah Winfrey levels of class. It’s meant to serve as a guide for those – including myself – who want to live a fulfilling, positive life while still maintaining their individuality and respect.

Classy Tip #1: Live Within Your Means

“Those who have abundant lives do not need an abundance of possessions.” Excess spending or hoarding may be a sign that you feel limited in some way. It is beneficial to explore that and understand why you feel driven to live in excess of your needs – is there an interest or hobby you can implement that would help you feel more creative or fulfilled? Do not act solely on impulse – be thoughtful and decisive, and know your limits. If celebrities have proven anything, it’s that money certainly doesn't buy happiness or class!

Classy Tip #2: Respect Everyone

Always gorgeous, always classy Princess Kate

Treat others how they would like to be treated. The Golden Rule says you should treat others how you would like to be treated, but wouldn’t it be more thoughtful to treat them how they would like to be treated? For example, your husband may not like to talk things out, but maybe you do. Assuming he wants to do so is presumptuous. Strike a balance between being more direct around direct people, and more compassionate around sensitive people. Stay true to yourself while maintaining the type of interaction that best suits their needs as well as your own.

Stay away from gossip, drama, and typecasting. When you think of class, the last thing that comes to mind is negativity or complaining. Whether it is victimizing your own situation, failing to see the good in others, or casually dropping criticisms, none of those actions have the power to make you a happier, more fulfilled person. Classy people stay out of others’ problems, and handle their own without involving the rest of the world in their private lives.

If you don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle, the best thing to do is keep that to yourself, unless their lifestyle is blatantly hurting themselves or others. Topics such as alcoholism, depression, or physical harm/behavioral issues should be addressed in a private and comfortable setting with that person directly.

Classy Tip #3: Be Thoughtful

Choose your friends wisely. It’s been said before, but surround yourself with kind and interesting people who are encouraging, supportive, and positive of your lifestyle. Toxic people will discourage you, or they may become jealous, negative, critical, judgmental, or condescending. If you get a bad vibe from someone, chances are your gut is telling you to keep a healthy distance.

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.” - The 14^th Dalai Lama

Classy Tip #4: Practice Assertiveness

Set Boundaries. Touching on the previous topic, a person with grace and confidence says no without being abrupt or brash. Saying no in a polite way does not mean you have to explain yourself, although it’s natural to feel that inclination.

An example of gracefully saying no is if someone offers you a dessert, and you are rather full, simply say “No thank you, I’m very full - I would love to take some home with me, though.” This shows your gratitude to the chef (oftentimes the chef is a family member who might otherwise take offense) while maintaining your assertiveness.

 

Just two of the world's most influential and powerful women

Classy Tip #5: Be Responsible & Considerate

Be mindful of your surroundings. Those with class know that how they present themselves to the world is extremely important. At work, at home, or anywhere else, your surroundings are a reflection of what is important to you.

Pick up the phone. Responsibility comes with a price tag -it’s called time and dedication! A responsible person does what they say they will do, and follows through on their commitments. If they cannot make a previously scheduled appointment, they give as much notice as possible and call the person or place directly instead of e-mailing or texting. (It’s easy now that it’s 2013 to forget about picking up the phone. Can you believe it’s the only means of communication we used to have, other than mail?)

Don’t mistakenly assume that because you wrote something on a friend’s social networking page that your message has been received. Assume responsibility and pick up the phone – you’ll be surprised how quickly your assumptions disappear (and it’s always so much nicer to hear an old friend’s voice rather than see their avatar.)

Classy Tip #6: Look Your Best

Define your appearance with the look that best represents who you are.  Whether we like it or not, our physical image presents an external message to the world. How you present yourself makes all the difference. Choose clothing that is flattering for your body type, and have fun with bold accessories or jewelry. Your clothing and your style are an avenue with which you can externally represent who you are. Use trends to your advantage; tie in classic pieces with fun and trendy accessories.

Wear makeup – or don’t! If you’re a guy reading this, makeup may still apply to you! It's completely normal for guys to wear a bit of concealer, tinted moisturizer, pluck their eyebrows, or take care of their skin (this is a totally untapped market that will be a huge boom in years to come.)

I used to think makeup was just something you have to wear for other people. That’s far from the truth – wear makeup because it makes you feel more confident. If you feel confident without it, that’s okay too!

You don't have to look like Audrey to be classy.

Final Note

The whole point of achieving a life of class is that you look and feel your best and have pride in that. Class has a negative connotation - that those with class were somehow born that way, or raised with money. It really has nothing to do with how much money you make or what you do for a living. It’s all about your attitude.

I love to draw inspiration from others, like those mentioned throughout this post. Who are some of your favorite classy ladies and gents?

Easy Southwest Grilled Chicken Salad

For a vegan version, just add your favorite veggie chicken strips or other protein

Here is what you'll need for this delicious, fast, easy and HEALTHY southwest salad!

Ingredients:

1 bag chopped romaine

1 15 oz can black beans, rinsed & drained

1 15 oz can corn, rinsed & drained

3 roma tomatoes

1 ripe avocado

1 bunch cilantro

1/2 red onion

1-2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

Directions:

Add bag of romaine to large salad bowl

Chop tomatoes & avocado

Finely chop red onions & cilantro
Rinse & drain black beans & corn

Add all ingredients to bowl of romaine

Slice chicken breast into thin slices
Season with cumin, cayenne, garlic, onion, salt & pepper

Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in large pan on med-high

Add chicken slices and cook for 3-4 minutes each side
Chop chicken & add to individual serving bowls

I didn't prepare a dressing, but I was thinking that it would be amazing to top it with a zesty sour cream - or you can use a vegan nacho-cheeze as dressing (sounds strange but it is actually amazing. Here's a really good recipe.) 

And with chicken!

Hope you enjoy :) I've been really into Mexican/New Mexican flavors lately!

What are some of your favorite meals or recipes? Let me know if the comments below!

For more inspiration and pictures of healthy food, check out these tumblr accounts:

beautifulpicturesofhealthyfood.tumblr.com

happyhealthyinspire.tumblr.com

losing-every-extra-pound.tumblr.com